My yoga pet peeves

If you’ve been reading my posts at all, you know that I love yoga. More than chocolate. If I had to choose between yoga and a cupcake, I would choose yoga. Most days, anyways.

But, even when you do something you love, there are those annoying little things that keep life interesting. Yoga is no different. Here are my top 10 yoga pet peeves:

1. People who walk on my mat.

If I don’t know you, or you’re not the teacher, don’t put your sweaty feet on my mat. Please.

2. People who om like it’s an olympic sport.

We get it, you have good lungs. It’s a group thing, we don’t want to just hear you.

3. When the yoga teacher says “Reach out and touch your neighbor”.

Eww, really? It’s hot yoga, I’ve got sweat dripping into my eyes and even my hair is sweating, and you want someone to touch me? Even more gross, you want me to touch someone else? Yuck!

4. Pep talks

I know, it’s weird to put that in my pet peeves. Pep talks are usually good. But when you decide to sit out a pose and the teacher chooses that moment to encourage the class to “give it all you’ve got!”, well, you kind of feel like she’s talking to you.

5. When bad yoga happens to good people

I went to a yoga workshop and the teacher messed up all the names of the poses. Plus, he made all these weird “mmmmmm” sounds. I felt like he was checking me out. He was very pretentious and obviously thought he was amazing. He wasn’t.

6. Pretzel-like people

You’re flexible. That’s great. Could you move your mat to the other side of the room please? Thanks so much!

7. People who mess with my savasana

If you’re going to leave early, could you do it before I enter my coma-like blissful state? Also, to the yoga teacher who once told the class “don’t think about your laundry, your dishes or all the other things you need to get done”, that had the exact opposite effect.

8. Yoga advice

I love yoga¬†advice from my teachers or fellow yogis. But, if you don’t do yoga, please don’t tell me about the dangers of the practice just because you read an article about it.

9. Freestylers

If you want to take breaks, then by all means, take breaks. I do. In fact, last night I might have spent more time in child’s pose than actually doing Amber’s core stuff. But when everyone is facing the back, and you’re facing the front, it’s weird. If we’re all in tree pose, and you’re doing a headstand, that’s weird too. If it happens once, maybe you got confused. If it happens a lot, I’m going to think you’re trying to mess me up on purpose.

10. People who breathe too loud

I know! It’s yoga. Breathing is a part of it. I get it, I do it, I’m not complaining about that. My problem is more with the Darth Vader like breathers who sound like they have awake sleep apnea during savasana. It’s the part of class where we’re supposed to go back to our natural breath.

I like to laugh at all the little things that bug me. I’m quirky. (That sounds better than whiny.) But really, I enjoy my practice so much, it wouldn’t matter if all those things happened in the same class. But remember, keep your feet on your own mat!¬†Namaste!