The story you are about to read is true. No names or identifying characteristics have been changed, mostly because it’s all about me.
T’was the end of Christmas day, and one very tired girl in a fluffy dress decided to leave the party and go home to sleep. (That girl is me.)
I went into the room where all the coats and boots were (because my family is so huge, we don’t have a coat closet, we have a coat room. Like, a big one.) and I didn’t see my boots. I saw a pair that were almost identical to mine, but they were someone else’s. I knew they weren’t mine, because when I put them on, they felt funny.
I went out to the living room and exclaimed “Someone took my boots!” Thus ensued a search for said boots, but nothing came up. Phone calls were made to cousins who had left, thinking they might have made a mistake. No luck.
I packed up the wrong boots in a bag and went home in my open-toed heels. It was raining.
The next morning, bright and early (ha! not true. I slept in really late.) I rose and began searching in earnest. These are not magnificent boots, but I am not home right now, and the only other options I have are heels and slippers.
I drove to my cousin’s house to check out his wife’s boots. They were not mine. I sent out messages saying “My boots are missing. I am enclosing a picture of the boots left behind. Mine are almost exactly the same.” Again and again, I received the same reply “I don’t have them. Good luck.”
Now, by this time, I was starting to have doubts. If no one had my boots, then where were they? And whose boots did I have? I compared the left-behind boots with a picture of me wearing my boots a few days earlier. Were they the same? Or just similar?
It’s been 36 hours, and nothing has come up. The only conclusion is that no one took my boots, and I have no idea what my own boots, which I wear every day, look and feel like. I am not sure of anything anymore.
I am not convinced that these boots are mine. If you have any information regarding the mysterious case of the Christmas boots, please contact me immediately. I have no doubt TLC will be calling me to make one of those “The first 48” crime shows about it. The trail has gone cold though, so it might be “Cold Case” instead.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out for a walk. I haven’t decided what will look best with my leggings, heels or slippers.