How to play volleyball in 30 easy steps

1. Play volleyball in high school. Only in gym class and only because you have to.

2. Don’t play for 15 years.

3. Wait until someone is very desperate and posts on facebook “Looking for a girl volleyball player or our team forfeits.”

4. Volunteer your services.

5. Warn team that your technique consists of ducking when the ball comes close to your head.

6. Warn them again when they say it’s all good.

7. Watch the women’s olympic volleyball for tips on how to be awesome.

8. Try not to be terrified at how intense they are.

9. Wear yoga clothes because you don’t own any volleyball clothes.

10. When it starts to rain, wonder if you can back out.

11. Breathe a sigh of relief when rain stops and you see a rainbow.

12. Tell the guys to look at the rainbow.

13. LOOK at the RAINBOW guys!

14. Meet other team members.

15. Try to look confident.

16. Take off flip-flops and step onto the court.

17. Resist the urge to build a sand castle.

18. Stand in one spot for the first 10 minutes.

19. Wave your arms around like a fly is bothering you.

20. Hit the ball by accident.

22. Serve something awesome.

23. Win the game.

24. Feel like a superstar.

25. Go out for drinks.

26. Discover fried pickles.

27. Drink half a pitcher of beer.

28. Wonder if people can tell you’re tipsy.

29. Go home and de-sand.

30. Pass out.

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